The Path.

I stopped making New Years resolutions a long time ago. I just hope to be better and improve what I have done these past 12 months. “If we hope to go anywhere or develop ourselves in any way, we can only step from where we are standing. If we don't really know where we are standing... We may only go in circles...” - Jon Kabat-Zinn. Stick to the path once you find it. See you on the other side.

Goodbye Mark...

Mark gave me this book GEORGE MACDONALD, an anthology by C.S. Lewis for Christmas in 2010. I go to this book and write out one of the readings as my spirit tells him goodbye from this world wishing him exciting travels into the next... 

[365] The Last Resource

"Lilith," said Mara, "you will not sleep, if you lie there a thousand years, until you have opened your hand, and yielded that which is not yours...."

"I cannot," she answered. "I would if I could, and gladly, for I am weary, and the shadows of death are gathering about me."

"They will gather and gather, but they cannot infold you while yet your hand remains unopened. You may think you are dead, but it will be only a dream.... Open your hand, and you will sleep indeed--then wake indeed." 

"There was a sword I once saw in your husband's hands," [Lilith] murmured. "I fled when I saw it. I heard him who bore it say it would divide whatever was not one and indivisible!"

"I have the sword," said Adam. "The angel gave it me when he left the gate."

"Bring it, Adam," pleaded Lilith, "and cut me off this hand that I may sleep."

"I will," he answered.

To My Brother

As a brother, I curse the sky as to why my sister has to go through this. She may not have known it, but she was my strength at my time of weakness. I hope I can be the same for her in the coming days. I know deep down these are the roles we must play in life. We are very blessed to have experienced our time with Mark. I am not sad, nor am I regretful on anything I should have said or done between our personal lives. In the end each part plays out exactly the way it should. I ask and pray to the heavens, the sky, and the winds of the spirit realm that his body relinquishes this pain so that his soul may find peace. He now gets to go ride those heavenly-cosmic waves! Brother, I'll see you soon out there.

Spinning

It's late at night that when I think of her

I can't sleep

My life is so black & white

It's late at night that when I dream her

These feelings creep

My love is so black & white

This object never stops spinning

This object is close to tipping

My heart... This object wreaks

How free is he...

"How free he is who has already accepted death and is simply enjoying the rest of their time inhabiting a body in this world." - Rohan 

I usually go to sleep thinking about my eternal sleep. It reminds me that I either failed myself or succeeded with the ending day. This is my reality, this is my state of mind. I know what awaits. I try to live fully because I know my eyes one day will not open... Whatever way it will come, I accept my destiny.