Where has my...

Where
Where has my
creativeness gone
stuck on a line
I think about how
I used to write how I used
to flow so freely
Where have I gone
Inside
Inside here I'll try to
Find myself
I'll try
I might even lose
myself
trying to find myself
In here I'll lose myself
Maybe when I'm dead &
gone, In here - you'll
find where I
found myself
One day in the future
this book will ask
itself..."Where,
where has my creator
gone..."All I can say
is that, I went, I went
to go find myself...
Follow me as you
Discover yourself...

a Sunrise

i think i shall paint a sunrise
almost as bright as the gleam
that's in your eyes.
the sand blown
the wind now shown
a bird flown
how i would love to paint your sunrise
i can see a tear in your eyes
beauty i see
you and me to be
this is a perfect sunrise

Two weeks

...Life and everything in it...Death and everything of it...happens. Time to spend what time I have left with my Hero. Not everyone gets a chance to say goodbye, I am grateful and blessed to be able to watch him go these next few weeks. Pray for the Nava family.

The Ice Storm

Thursday, 1030 at night, it's below freezing, there's a slight drizzle coming down, ice is all over my car, my tires and the road...I'm bummed because it isn't snow.

I'm leaving a sushi restaurant after celebrating a friends birthday dinner. We all must be a little crazy, we all knew it was icing over, but we went out in it anyway to celebrate. They say you are who you hang around with...yea, all of us that we there - all just a little crazy.

I'm sitting in my car. I'm contemplating on whether to take the highways, everyone's post on Facebook said "Don't get on the highway..." I'm still contemplating.

I do some circles in the parking lot with some figure 8's involved, trying to warm the tires up before I get on the road. Fun.

I get onto Saratoga, about to pass Weber - doesn't look like I'm taking the highway. The back roads it is...maybe this is even less safe, no one is on the roads and those that are with me on these back roads will be coming the other direction, no room for error. I don't even think twice; this is going to get interesting.

Sometime further down the road I find myself - alone - on this black iced road; me and my thoughts, my fears, my aspirations, my life...my heart starts racing - I slide, I see the gleam of reflection of the frozen water over the black tar of the road, the lights went out all around me, a power transformer must have blown, it's dark, no one's behind me - nor in front. I can't see the road signs until I pass them. I can't stop suddenly or else I'll slide into a ditch, into a guard rail, into a pole...I have to wait till the next road...I'm getting lost on a road I thought I knew....


I think of Death. Maybe when I finally meet him he'll "high-five" me because I tested my mortality more than the next guy, or maybe he'll say "You came to me too early, stupid." Whatever it is...my time will be my time.

I don't know where I'm at, my GPS isn't working, it's too overcast outside. All the little towns are dark, the roads are black, my windshield is icing over, my heat is on full, my eyes are tired...it's midnight - I don't know where I'm at.

A car passes me - FREAKING IDIOT.

A car is going a little too fast the opposite direction on a curve. I parked my car thinking I was about to go save some other idiot that flew off . Didn't happen. Time to move on.

I see a sign - Petronila. I know where I'm at. Kinda, I point my car in a direction, I go. To get to where I need to though, I have to take this road - I can already tell my nerves are starting to peak. I'm snailing it on this one, I go off road - fun. I'm back on, no 180's yet, I'm almost there. This road is the darkest, and the iciest. There's two cars coming in the opposite direction, I'm not the only one out here. I let them have the road, I sit still. Maybe they'll lose control and plow into me, I can't control that. I sit here and wait. Seconds later, I'm still here intact. I move on. I make it to Robstown. I'm almost home free. I loosen up a little on the wheel. 10 minutes later I'm pulling into my driveway. I breath. I'm awake. I'm alive. I sit here for a while. I breath.

They say you are who you hang around with...

Late that night I was by myself...

Balance

Balance now I seek

Balance through-out the fog;

life was weak

My mind clouded by

Things I

could control - but didn't

It's not that I couldn't

Was just that I chose to

pick something unchosen

in front of me

I put something in front

I can not see

That wasn't supposed to be

The balance I sought

The wrath it brought

The balance I got

After the hurt I brought

on you.

I'm almost confused too...

Edge

That thin Edge
Sometimes its ok
ok to be a little
little on edge
edge walking that thin
thin line sometimes
sometimes it ok
ok to be
be just something
something else
else you'd see
see yourself looking
looking like you were walking
walking on
on a thin Edge.

(written Saturday, May 10 2008)

The Yawn of Orion

The night grows silent. I had something to talk about but she took it away.

The night grows cold. I had a feeling then she sucked it away.

The dream grows. I had a thought but she discarded it like she does her own.

I wake up. She wants to close her eyes.

There comes the time when we are in align. Then she decides a maze is better to keep me

wondering behind...

I am not nearly confused to the way things are. She doesn't know which way to go.

A yawn is a yawn - but a thought...will set you free!

(written Tuesday, November 21, 2006)