Thursday, February 10, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
The Ice Storm
Thursday, 1030 at night, it's below freezing, there's a slight drizzle coming down, ice is all over my car, my tires and the road...I'm bummed because it isn't snow.
I'm leaving a sushi restaurant after celebrating a friends birthday dinner. We all must be a little crazy, we all knew it was icing over, but we went out in it anyway to celebrate. They say you are who you hang around with...yea, all of us that we there - all just a little crazy.
I'm sitting in my car. I'm contemplating on whether to take the highways, everyone's post on Facebook said "Don't get on the highway..." I'm still contemplating.
I do some circles in the parking lot with some figure 8's involved, trying to warm the tires up before I get on the road. Fun.
I get onto Saratoga, about to pass Weber - doesn't look like I'm taking the highway. The back roads it is...maybe this is even less safe, no one is on the roads and those that are with me on these back roads will be coming the other direction, no room for error. I don't even think twice; this is going to get interesting.
Sometime further down the road I find myself - alone - on this black iced road; me and my thoughts, my fears, my aspirations, my life...my heart starts racing - I slide, I see the gleam of reflection of the frozen water over the black tar of the road, the lights went out all around me, a power transformer must have blown, it's dark, no one's behind me - nor in front. I can't see the road signs until I pass them. I can't stop suddenly or else I'll slide into a ditch, into a guard rail, into a pole...I have to wait till the next road...I'm getting lost on a road I thought I knew....
I think of Death. Maybe when I finally meet him he'll "high-five" me because I tested my mortality more than the next guy, or maybe he'll say "You came to me too early, stupid." Whatever it is...my time will be my time.
I don't know where I'm at, my GPS isn't working, it's too overcast outside. All the little towns are dark, the roads are black, my windshield is icing over, my heat is on full, my eyes are tired...it's midnight - I don't know where I'm at.
A car passes me - FREAKING IDIOT.
A car is going a little too fast the opposite direction on a curve. I parked my car thinking I was about to go save some other idiot that flew off . Didn't happen. Time to move on.
I see a sign - Petronila. I know where I'm at. Kinda, I point my car in a direction, I go. To get to where I need to though, I have to take this road - I can already tell my nerves are starting to peak. I'm snailing it on this one, I go off road - fun. I'm back on, no 180's yet, I'm almost there. This road is the darkest, and the iciest. There's two cars coming in the opposite direction, I'm not the only one out here. I let them have the road, I sit still. Maybe they'll lose control and plow into me, I can't control that. I sit here and wait. Seconds later, I'm still here intact. I move on. I make it to Robstown. I'm almost home free. I loosen up a little on the wheel. 10 minutes later I'm pulling into my driveway. I breath. I'm awake. I'm alive. I sit here for a while. I breath.
They say you are who you hang around with...
Late that night I was by myself...
I'm leaving a sushi restaurant after celebrating a friends birthday dinner. We all must be a little crazy, we all knew it was icing over, but we went out in it anyway to celebrate. They say you are who you hang around with...yea, all of us that we there - all just a little crazy.
I'm sitting in my car. I'm contemplating on whether to take the highways, everyone's post on Facebook said "Don't get on the highway..." I'm still contemplating.
I do some circles in the parking lot with some figure 8's involved, trying to warm the tires up before I get on the road. Fun.
I get onto Saratoga, about to pass Weber - doesn't look like I'm taking the highway. The back roads it is...maybe this is even less safe, no one is on the roads and those that are with me on these back roads will be coming the other direction, no room for error. I don't even think twice; this is going to get interesting.
Sometime further down the road I find myself - alone - on this black iced road; me and my thoughts, my fears, my aspirations, my life...my heart starts racing - I slide, I see the gleam of reflection of the frozen water over the black tar of the road, the lights went out all around me, a power transformer must have blown, it's dark, no one's behind me - nor in front. I can't see the road signs until I pass them. I can't stop suddenly or else I'll slide into a ditch, into a guard rail, into a pole...I have to wait till the next road...I'm getting lost on a road I thought I knew....
I think of Death. Maybe when I finally meet him he'll "high-five" me because I tested my mortality more than the next guy, or maybe he'll say "You came to me too early, stupid." Whatever it is...my time will be my time.
I don't know where I'm at, my GPS isn't working, it's too overcast outside. All the little towns are dark, the roads are black, my windshield is icing over, my heat is on full, my eyes are tired...it's midnight - I don't know where I'm at.
A car passes me - FREAKING IDIOT.
A car is going a little too fast the opposite direction on a curve. I parked my car thinking I was about to go save some other idiot that flew off . Didn't happen. Time to move on.
I see a sign - Petronila. I know where I'm at. Kinda, I point my car in a direction, I go. To get to where I need to though, I have to take this road - I can already tell my nerves are starting to peak. I'm snailing it on this one, I go off road - fun. I'm back on, no 180's yet, I'm almost there. This road is the darkest, and the iciest. There's two cars coming in the opposite direction, I'm not the only one out here. I let them have the road, I sit still. Maybe they'll lose control and plow into me, I can't control that. I sit here and wait. Seconds later, I'm still here intact. I move on. I make it to Robstown. I'm almost home free. I loosen up a little on the wheel. 10 minutes later I'm pulling into my driveway. I breath. I'm awake. I'm alive. I sit here for a while. I breath.
They say you are who you hang around with...
Late that night I was by myself...
Friday, December 24, 2010
Balance
Balance now I seek
Balance through-out the fog;
life was weak
My mind clouded by
Things I
could control - but didn't
It's not that I couldn't
Was just that I chose to
pick something unchosen
in front of me
I put something in front
I can not see
That wasn't supposed to be
The balance I sought
The wrath it brought
The balance I got
After the hurt I brought
on you.
I'm almost confused too...
Balance through-out the fog;
life was weak
My mind clouded by
Things I
could control - but didn't
It's not that I couldn't
Was just that I chose to
pick something unchosen
in front of me
I put something in front
I can not see
That wasn't supposed to be
The balance I sought
The wrath it brought
The balance I got
After the hurt I brought
on you.
I'm almost confused too...
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Edge
That thin Edge
Sometimes its ok
ok to be a little
little on edge
edge walking that thin
thin line sometimes
sometimes it ok
ok to be
be just something
something else
else you'd see
see yourself looking
looking like you were walking
walking on
on a thin Edge.
(written Saturday, May 10 2008)
Sometimes its ok
ok to be a little
little on edge
edge walking that thin
thin line sometimes
sometimes it ok
ok to be
be just something
something else
else you'd see
see yourself looking
looking like you were walking
walking on
on a thin Edge.
(written Saturday, May 10 2008)
Monday, December 20, 2010
The Yawn of Orion
The night grows silent. I had something to talk about but she took it away.
The night grows cold. I had a feeling then she sucked it away.
The dream grows. I had a thought but she discarded it like she does her own.
I wake up. She wants to close her eyes.
There comes the time when we are in align. Then she decides a maze is better to keep me
wondering behind...
I am not nearly confused to the way things are. She doesn't know which way to go.
A yawn is a yawn - but a thought...will set you free!
(written Tuesday, November 21, 2006)
The night grows cold. I had a feeling then she sucked it away.
The dream grows. I had a thought but she discarded it like she does her own.
I wake up. She wants to close her eyes.
There comes the time when we are in align. Then she decides a maze is better to keep me
wondering behind...
I am not nearly confused to the way things are. She doesn't know which way to go.
A yawn is a yawn - but a thought...will set you free!
(written Tuesday, November 21, 2006)
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Halos
Tell me Heaven
I'm an Angel, floating among the stars
Seeing halos empty
Golden rings and ripped wings
Me reaching, gathering them in jars
Tell me Heaven
Why so many leave to go
To that place which became
Of sand and snow
To know things down there
Are closer to the flame
Tell me Heaven
So many vanished into the unknown
I'm here, though not alone
Floating and watching
Sitting on Mars
Watching empty halos shine
Brighter than stars
Tell me Heaven
I saw another fall
To that place
Where there is Spring and Fall
In desperation I reached to say
"Earthly bodies they become such waste"
Tell me Heaven
Why do Angels
Lose their Golden Rings
Then rip their wings
And fall to a place
Where by taking a breath
They accept Life...
and Death
Tell me Heaven if you will
What body shall I fill?
Ismael Josue' Nava
(written Tuesday, April 8 2008)
I'm an Angel, floating among the stars
Seeing halos empty
Golden rings and ripped wings
Me reaching, gathering them in jars
Tell me Heaven
Why so many leave to go
To that place which became
Of sand and snow
To know things down there
Are closer to the flame
Tell me Heaven
So many vanished into the unknown
I'm here, though not alone
Floating and watching
Sitting on Mars
Watching empty halos shine
Brighter than stars
Tell me Heaven
I saw another fall
To that place
Where there is Spring and Fall
In desperation I reached to say
"Earthly bodies they become such waste"
Tell me Heaven
Why do Angels
Lose their Golden Rings
Then rip their wings
And fall to a place
Where by taking a breath
They accept Life...
and Death
Tell me Heaven if you will
What body shall I fill?
Ismael Josue' Nava
(written Tuesday, April 8 2008)
Thursday, December 16, 2010
The Patient...
Read this:
"A groan of tedium escapes me, stuttering, fearful.
Is this a test?
It has to be. otherwise I can't go on.
Draining patience. drain vitality.
This paranoid, paralyzed vampire act's a little old.
But I'm still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. and I'm still right
Here.
But I'm still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. and I'm still right
Here.
I'm gonna wait it out
If there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
I'm gonna wait it out
If there were no desire to heal
The damaged and broken met along this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
I still may. and I still may.
Be patient.
I must keep reminding myself of this...
If there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
And I still may. and I still may. and I still may.
I'm gonna wait it out.
I'm gonna wait it out.
Gonna wait it out.
Gonna wait it out." - TOOL
Read this:
I'm tired of all this. This paranoid, paralyzed vampire act's a little old. I'm tired of all this crap. I can't sleep because of all this, of all this feelings I have, of putting my whole heart into something. I don't want to believe in KARMA but it's hard to not when everything has reversed itself on me. Screw this. I love being able to understand that I'm not of this world, I'm more than just flesh, bone, and thought. I'm a spirit.
My true self is what I am when I am no more, when we are no more.
I just want to get rid of this feeling. It's what makes me human though, and am I not here to be human? Screw it all. The villains have all the fun, I'm attracted to this. I excelled as a villain. I was numero uno villain, so these guys can't out do me. I was tuned into the dark, I understood evil. I asked to be in it. Now I see others where I was. A villain. I see those I love push away the hero and pursue the dark. Maybe these villains I see will one day be heros...but I can't count on it. I will push on. I will fight on. I will destroy the villain in me and in you. I want to walk away so bad. I want to walk away so freaking bad. I WANT TO WALK AWAY. But am I - I'm not. Real life HEROS don't wear capes, they're not in public view. They're behind the scenes. I have chosen my path. I have chosen and decided where I shall be. My path intersects with yours and yours with mine. What shall you do when I ask you to decide? Be patient they say. Be strong and courageous He says. I must keep reminding myself of this...I must. Screw you and your indecision. Forget what you know. Quit trying to act like you know. You don't. Neither do I, but I know that I don't know. Is this is a test...it has to be. Be patient. Keep reminding myself of this, I must.
"A groan of tedium escapes me, stuttering, fearful.
Is this a test?
It has to be. otherwise I can't go on.
Draining patience. drain vitality.
This paranoid, paralyzed vampire act's a little old.
But I'm still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. and I'm still right
Here.
But I'm still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. and I'm still right
Here.
I'm gonna wait it out
If there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
I'm gonna wait it out
If there were no desire to heal
The damaged and broken met along this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
I still may. and I still may.
Be patient.
I must keep reminding myself of this...
If there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
And I still may. and I still may. and I still may.
I'm gonna wait it out.
I'm gonna wait it out.
Gonna wait it out.
Gonna wait it out." - TOOL
Read this:
I'm tired of all this. This paranoid, paralyzed vampire act's a little old. I'm tired of all this crap. I can't sleep because of all this, of all this feelings I have, of putting my whole heart into something. I don't want to believe in KARMA but it's hard to not when everything has reversed itself on me. Screw this. I love being able to understand that I'm not of this world, I'm more than just flesh, bone, and thought. I'm a spirit.
My true self is what I am when I am no more, when we are no more.
I just want to get rid of this feeling. It's what makes me human though, and am I not here to be human? Screw it all. The villains have all the fun, I'm attracted to this. I excelled as a villain. I was numero uno villain, so these guys can't out do me. I was tuned into the dark, I understood evil. I asked to be in it. Now I see others where I was. A villain. I see those I love push away the hero and pursue the dark. Maybe these villains I see will one day be heros...but I can't count on it. I will push on. I will fight on. I will destroy the villain in me and in you. I want to walk away so bad. I want to walk away so freaking bad. I WANT TO WALK AWAY. But am I - I'm not. Real life HEROS don't wear capes, they're not in public view. They're behind the scenes. I have chosen my path. I have chosen and decided where I shall be. My path intersects with yours and yours with mine. What shall you do when I ask you to decide? Be patient they say. Be strong and courageous He says. I must keep reminding myself of this...I must. Screw you and your indecision. Forget what you know. Quit trying to act like you know. You don't. Neither do I, but I know that I don't know. Is this is a test...it has to be. Be patient. Keep reminding myself of this, I must.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)