The Patient...

Read this:
"A groan of tedium escapes me, stuttering, fearful.
Is this a test?
It has to be. otherwise I can't go on.
Draining patience. drain vitality.
This paranoid, paralyzed vampire act's a little old.

But I'm still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. and I'm still right
Here.
But I'm still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. and I'm still right
Here.

I'm gonna wait it out

If there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.

I'm gonna wait it out

If there were no desire to heal
The damaged and broken met along this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.

I still may. and I still may.
Be patient.

I must keep reminding myself of this...

If there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
And I still may. and I still may. and I still may.

I'm gonna wait it out.
I'm gonna wait it out.
Gonna wait it out.
Gonna wait it out." - TOOL

Read this:

I'm tired of all this. This paranoid, paralyzed vampire act's a little old. I'm tired of all this crap. I can't sleep because of all this, of all this feelings I have, of putting my whole heart into something. I don't want to believe in KARMA but it's hard to not when everything has reversed itself on me. Screw this. I love being able to understand that I'm not of this world, I'm more than just flesh, bone, and thought. I'm a spirit.
My true self is what I am when I am no more, when we are no more.
I just want to get rid of this feeling. It's what makes me human though, and am I not here to be human? Screw it all. The villains have all the fun, I'm attracted to this. I excelled as a villain. I was numero uno villain, so these guys can't out do me. I was tuned into the dark, I understood evil. I asked to be in it. Now I see others where I was. A villain. I see those I love push away the hero and pursue the dark. Maybe these villains I see will one day be heros...but I can't count on it. I will push on. I will fight on. I will destroy the villain in me and in you. I want to walk away so bad. I want to walk away so freaking bad. I WANT TO WALK AWAY. But am I - I'm not. Real life HEROS don't wear capes, they're not in public view. They're behind the scenes. I have chosen my path. I have chosen and decided where I shall be. My path intersects with yours and yours with mine. What shall you do when I ask you to decide? Be patient they say. Be strong and courageous He says. I must keep reminding myself of this...I must. Screw you and your indecision. Forget what you know. Quit trying to act like you know. You don't. Neither do I, but I know that I don't know. Is this is a test...it has to be. Be patient. Keep reminding myself of this, I must.