I'm on a roll...

I think women want a guy
they can control. Someone
somewhat
predictable like a
chart, they can patrol
I think when they find
out he's unrestrainable,
they let him go.
This love he has for them
now becomes unattainable
They send him on a mental trip
to some unknown
north celestial pole.
He becomes the play thing,
the toy.
The man
that reminds them of
that lost endless summer
fun boy
those days gone - bummer

He becomes the guy
they know they'll always behold,
yet who can't fill that void,
always untold.
their relationship just becomes
one theatrical role
The guy who they go to
to give them the
greatest whirl.
The guy who, in the end,
if they let him love them
would've gave
them the world...
Hey all you hearts
I'm on a roll

1-22

I really need to figure out how to put pictures and links on here. I guess a blog is supposed to be a thought, an idea, a moment in time, a view of something I find interesting. I guess it's supposed to be something that intrigues me at this specific moment between me and the vastness of endless space. An online journal that you get to read about. Maybe it's something that I find artistic in life and that I want to share with you. It could be a pain that I went through and years later I'm just now expressing or even now experiencing. It could be something I find upsetting. It could be a feeling that I am go going through now, and that I feel like sharing. It could even be something that let me and could hopefully, make us free. Maybe, it's just something that can connect you to me...
I really wish you could see this picture right now. A whole city passing, and I'm the only one here sitting, watching this scene - amazing...

Your Rue

I think you should
know
this is about you
I think you should
know
this is going to
cut you
into two

pick one
shun the other
pick one
or
don't even bother

I want you to know
this is about you
I want you to know
you're going to have to
choose one
or the other


five minutes
I stared at you
five minutes
I couldn't think
five minutes
into my mind
all I could do is
try and find our link
five minutes
the universe
didn't let me blink


endless
possibilities
all I could see
that's all it was about
was these
endless
could be realities
Your Rue, your
lost opportunity


that endless stare
my gazing care
feeling your hearts
meaningful tear
my crazed desire
a heart mazed
with fire
in dire
forever...
flaming higher

I think you
should know
this is about you
I think you are
in a fool's hall
to must
think this is
all

about you
and that dazed heart
of mine
would have been
yours
now only
in rue
between us
this crazed path
thus we fall

so tell me
between us
yes this just
is a gest
what's it going
to be
I gerere...

The Nice Guy

I wasn't always the nice guy
For many days and nights
I was the asshole bad guy
I was the guy she would talk to
the nice guys about
I was the guy who made her cry
on the nice guy
I was the guy who treated her
as bad as I wanted too
and was the guy she couldn't stop lovin'
I was the guy who killed her dreams
I was the guy who the nice guy
hated and couldn't understand
Sometimes I tried being the nice guy
but why would I
I had her in the palm of my hand...
I was the guy the nice guy
always wondered
"Why him..."
Then one day I left to another place
One day I went away
Far far away for many moons
I left that girl thinking about me everyday
Some days
I thought about her too
I even thought about
making her mine
On a snowy day I came back
from that desert of a place
that was far far away
to find the girl who loved me
who, even though everyday
I was an ass too
I found and heard that girl who loved me
had died
she flipped off the road into a ditch
a broken heart crushed twice
That day this bad guy became
a nice guy...
Now it's me who wonders
why you
are in love with that guy...

A Poem

Written 10 June 2010. Posted on blog, 8 Jan 2012

I just want to touch you
I want to float around and feel you
I want to go there - to the sky
I see you shine. I see you burn through the millennia
I want to be there where time has no name
I want to stay in a spot for a million years
and I want to watch you form
I want to see you gather and become
the Awe
I want to be there when you send
your first rays of light
and then I want to ride them
to a place a million miles away
maybe a billion
no, a trillion
Then I'll jump off and float around in the darkness
for a while
Until I start to search for and find
you
the Awe
once again...

A beginning...

"Alea iacta est," "Audeamus, " and finally "Dum vita est, spes est!"


More to come...

Lost...

I've lost my creativity...
I'm trying to find
this something I threw away
maybe just a brevity I
had for a short time
in my life
can I find in a future day
hopefully

faith lost
not for long
searching I go on
a touch of frost since
this hearts' heat gone
my strength weakened
love washed
it's begone 

finding the me
seeking the I
on a journey
looking for within
seeking, using
my third and 4th eye

out there she is
maybe, I heard
patience is key
sorry to say
like garbage
I treated the one
that made me
we

karma I don't believe
it's hard to say
karma
it's hard to heave
since it all came back
on me like a big pack
of metal sleeves
cutting into me

I've lost my creativity
which I love
finding it is
my doves search
finding it
vis a vis

maybe if it finds me
I'll be ready
once more
to open
another door

one day you'll read
I found my creativity
on that day
love too
shall never again
escape this which is me